Hunter Cat arrives.
WASHINGTON'S MOST UNBOTHERED FELINE
HUNTERCAT
THE CAT. THE LAPTOP. THE QUESTIONS.
$HUNTERCAT • NO COMMENT
SCROLL FOR EVIDENCE ↓
EXHIBIT A / THE MORNING AFTER
AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION
WHAT HAPPENED
LAST NIGHT?
CASE STATUS: ABSOLUTELY NOT CLOSED CASE STATUS: ABSOLUTELY NOT CLOSED
PERSON OF INTEREST / ALLEGEDLY
MEET HUNTER CAT
BORN PRIVILEGED.
RAISED QUESTIONABLE.
CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE
FOR COMMENT.
- Occupation
- Unclear
- Location
- Allegedly D.C.
- Favorite Drink
- Yes
- Laptop Password
- Nice Try
- Current Status
- Unbothered
- Legal Advice
- Don't Ask the Cat
NO COMMENT!*ALLEGEDLY
OFFICIAL PORTRAITIMAGE
WITHHELD██████████████
CASE FILE / SUBJECT UNCOOPERATIVEWITHHELD██████████████
SUBJECT DECLINED
TO SIT STILL.
CLASSIFIED • DO NOT OPEN • CLASSIFIED • DO NOT OPEN • CLASSIFIED • DO NOT OPEN
THE SMOKING HARD DRIVE
EVERYONE WANTS TO
SEE THE LAPTOP.
One glowing paw. Several encrypted folders. Absolutely impeccable battery life.
The laptop knows what happened.
Hunter Cat isn't talking.
PROPERTY OF
DEFINITELY NOT HUNTER CAT
A VERY RELIABLE RECONSTRUCTION
THE ALIBI
First champagne cork enters low Earth orbit.
Someone orders pizza.
Laptop last seen unattended.
Nobody remembers this part.
Hunter Cat denies everything.
No comment.
FORM 69-B / TOTALLY LEGIT
THE FINANCIAL
DISCLOSURE
Hunter Cat's accountant has advised him not to comment further.
TICKER$HUNTERCAT
BLOCKCHAINSOLANA
CONTRACT ADDRESSTBA—THECATATETHECONTRACT
SUPPLY1,000,000,000
LIQUIDITY / PAIRCOMING SOON
BUY LINK
NOT A ROADMAP
THE OFFICIAL STORY
PHASE I
↗THE PARTY
Cat arrives.
PHASE II
↗THE INCIDENT
Details remain classified.
PHASE III
↗THE LAPTOP
Laptop discovered.
PHASE IV
↗THE INVESTIGATION
Internet does internet things.
PHASE V
↗HUNTER CAT
No lessons learned.